Tuesday, February 26, 2008

This may be The Problem

I think I know what The Problem is with Mom. Ya know, the reason why she has been so grumpy lately (and why she's been so mean with the Stinky Goodness). It's her J-O-B. It's evil I tell ya.

Dad works from home. He's on the phone all day long but he can give us pets and attention all day long. To me, that is the ideal job for a human.

Mom, on the other hand, drives really far away and goes to teach history to a bunch of brats. Then when she's home, she's working on what to teach the brats next and grade all their horrible writing (I know it's horrible 'cause I hear her constantly complaining about it). She says she really loves her job but it keeps her away from us and we definitely don't get enough attention from her. Personally I think she should quit her job and become a stay-at-home mom. That way she could devote every waking hour to us...

...wait. What? You wouldn't be able to give us Stinky Goodness if you quit your job? Uh. I'm not getting any now as it is!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Definitely Not Fair

After I made the last post, Mom said that she'll start giving out Stinky Goodness. And was there much rejoicing? Actually, no. Mom said she's only giving it to Boo and Kukai (aka "The Annoying One"). Supposedly Boo has lost weight so she's trying to fatten him up and Kukai is too pathetic to turn down I guess. What about the rest of us? Mom said that we can finish up what the two of them don't eat. Like they aren't going to eat it all.

So I started thinking. Mom is pretty slow in her reaction time, right? So I just have to wait until the right moment to jump up on the counter and grab some of that Stinky Goodness when she isn't looking. Sounds good, right? Grrr. I guess she isn't as clueless as I thought 'cause now she's locking me in the bathroom when she feeds Boo and Kukai! Can you believe that?!!! What's worse is that when those two are done, she puts down the bowl for the other kitties to get at and then takes her sweet time to let me out of the bathroom. By the time I run to the kitchen there is no Stinky Goodness left.

Can you believe this? It's not fair.

At the very least, she's at least letting me sleep under the covers with her at night. It's bad enough I don't get the Stinky Goodness, but at least I can keep warm. Being hungry and cold would require drastic action on my part.

And no, I cannot poop on Mom's pillow. She will know it was me and has threatened to shave me if I tried it. That is just so not right.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fuzzies Under Seige: Day 40

It's been forty days without Stinky Goodness. I haven't had any Stinky Goodness for forty days. If that isn't cruel and unusual punishment, I don't know what it.

Mom says that there's a reason for it. At first it was because she was laid up in bed and Dad couldn't tolerate the smell of Stinky Goodness. But since she's been up and around, she now says it's a good thing that she has "weaned" us off of it 'cause it was getting too expensive. Too expensive?!!! Is our love and devotion not worth the cost of a few measly cans of Stinky Goodness?

I am thinking of organizing a protest. Originally I was thinking of a walk-out but it's too damn cold outside. Can anybody think of a good way of protesting this sort of abuse?

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I smelled it

Oh yes I did. They thought that by going outside on a cold night and distracting us the moment they got home that we wouldn't figure out what they were doing. It would have worked too except I got suspicious and got near enough to them to smell their breath. Ah ha! They went out and had sushi for dinner! What's worse? They didn't bring any home to share with us.

I must quickly begin plotting my revenge. They will learn to never come home from sushi empty handed again.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Mom's got the flu

She has been home sick for the past four days, feeling really miserable. She says she knows for a fact that one of her students got her sick. But there's nothing she can do about it now especially since she's out of sick days for the semester. Poor mom.

So please, send some healing purrs and headbutts mom's way. She's also getting her cast off tomorrow so she can use all the help she can get.

Friday, February 8, 2008

The Master Plan

So there I was, just chilling out in the kitchen sink. We Maine Coons like to sit in sinks. Don't know why. We just do. Anyways, it's been weeks since the entire sink was empty so I was going to take advantage of it.

Mom comes downstairs and sees me doing it. She fawns over me and goes "how cute." Typical sappy mom stuff, right? But then she stops and looks at me.

"Why do I get the feeling you're up to something?" I just look at her innocently.

"Oh I know that look. You are up to something." Moi? Never.

"Hmmm. As long as your not building some kitty tunnel to smuggle in Stinky Goodness I guess I shouldn't worry."

Me? Build a tunnel? Nev...wait? Tunnel? To bring in Stinky Goodness? Hmmm. I could create some kind of kitty black market where I can smuggle Stinky Goodness and catnip into the house. Now why didn't I think of this before. I must go work...

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

I'm Not Ignoring My Blog...

...really. Mom has been in rough shape. She has been overdoing it with the teaching and walking in class (bad Mom!) so her foot has been hurting a LOT. Since it is my duty to help Mom feel better, I've been busy giving her lots of purrs and headbutts. I'm still mad at her for not giving me Stinky Goodness, but a boy does have to help out his mom.