I finally got Mom to show me how to work this stupid piece of machinery. You think humans, who claim they are so intelligent, could figure out an easier way doing things. Computers are nice, but if you don't have fingers then they are hard to use. Why can't they make keyboards designed for kitty paws? Hmm...
Anyway, my name is Monkee. I'm a black smoke Maine Coon. I'm 2 1/2 years old and my litter mate is Loki. He's my big dumb brother. When the Supreme Kitty gave out the brains and the brawn, He didn't distribute them evenly. I got all the brains, he got all the brawn. Which means he's very big and very dumb. I'm very smart and...well...svelte. It really is amazing that we shared the same mommy kitty. You would never guess by looking at us.
I share the house with mom, dad, and eight brothers and sisters. Yes, as mom calls them, it's our "flock o' fuzzies." The oldest is Boo. Nice guy but I'm starting to think he's retarded. Kukai is the little Japanese Bobtail. If it wasn't for him, I'd be the smallest guy in the house. Also, he is freaking loony. Then there is Bailey. I like her. She's another gray Maine Coon and she's big, fat, and warm. Bomber is OK but he doesn't like me too much. He's got some serious issues about sharing time with mom. Phoebe is next. She's not that smart either but she loves attention. That's good for me 'cause she distracts the humans while I'm stealing their food. Fizzy is a big tabby girl. Sweet and feisty. I've already mentioned my brother Loki. Then, last but not least, is the kitten Dharma. Sweet and feisty too. However, she is a major spaz. Makes me look like I'm popping Valium some days.
One thing you need to know about me is that while Ayla was my older sister, we were nothing alike. She was an old crazy cranky cat. Me? I'm the smartest creature in this entire house. My mom says I'm "too smart" for my own good. Hehe. Too smart for her own good is more like it. Sometimes I think she wants me to be the traditional kitty who plays with string and poops all day long. Oh no. Not me.
I have two goals in life: to torment my dad and to seize all the chicken in the house. If I can do both at the same time, all the better. Why torment my dad? Well, 'cause I can. Mom gets all "well he's a cat" attitude when I do something wrong which is no fun. Dad? He gets so pissed off and the look on his face is just classic. It's even better if I've stolen chicken from him. He gets all red and angry and grabs the water sprayer thinking that'll stop me. Dude. Water doesn't hurt me. So I get a little wet. It's the price you pay for great entertainment and good food.
So welcome to my world!
P.S. I'm working on decorating the entire blog a little better but first I have to master using the mouse thingie. Why do humans call this a mouse? It looks nothing like a mouse and doesn't taste like one either. Then again, I've always been questioning the intelligence of humans since the day I was born.